INBOX - NHD-C12-KRI-248 - IKARI, SHINJI

[forevalone]

ikari.shinji@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES

text message	audio message	voice mail
<span style="font-family:courier;"><B>FROM:</B> lastname.firstname@cdc.org <B>TO:</B> ikari.shinji@cdc.org [[200 max character message here]]</span>	<span style="font-family:courier;"><B>CALLING:</B> LAST NAME, FIRST NAME</span> [[3 minute max message here]]	<span style="font-family:courier;"><B>(1) VOICEMAIL:</B> LAST NAME, FIRST NAME [[3 minute max message here]]

Comments

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

Um...we've held hands...and kissed...

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

That's it.

_{[To Shinji's disappointment.]}

1/2

[alittlemaster]

[alittlemaster]

[HE REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! GASP HOLDING HANDS (he saw this in person) GASP KISSING!!!!!! (he may have seen this in person and tried to suppress these memories)]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
YOU'VE KISSED HIM YOU'LL DEFINITELY GET FRENCH GOUT NOW

[His weakest blackbox index point went from "reliance on Sebastian" to "feels faint around the gay" in two seconds.]

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

No I won't! I never got anything from when I kissed a girl before and she was human!

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
YOUVE KISSED A GIRL TOO

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
YOU TURNED HER INTO A TART IKARI YOU ONLY KISS GIRLS WHEN YOURE ENGAGED OR MARRIED

minutes later

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
YOU HAVE FRENCH GOUT FOR SURE I SLEPT IN A ROVER WITH YOU I PROBABLY HAVE IT NOW IKARI!!!!!!

[1/2]

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

It was my first kiss...she's the one who kissed me. She almost even suffocated me.

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

People our age kiss each other a lot more than you think they do, Phantomhive-kun.

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

Also don't call girls that to their faces they'll kick you in the crotch or slap you.

[2/2]

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

That's not how sexually transmitted diseases work!

i'm sorry i had thought of it in hindsight

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
WHAT????

[WHAT???? to everything.]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
YOUVE DONE SOMETHING LIKE THAT TOO??? [gj giving him the wrong impression] I WAS STUCK IN A ROVER WITH YOU PEOPLE WILL THINK I AM IMMORAL

I"M CRYINGFSD

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

NO I HAVEN'T I'M A VIRGIN CALM DOWN

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
ONLY A MAN OF ILL REPUTE WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT AFTER SPREADING A DISEASE TO THREE OTHERS

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

I DIDN'T SPREAD ANYTHING I'VE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE AND YOU ONLY GET DISEASES LIKE THAT FROM HAVING SEX

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
NO YOU GET THEM FROM TOUCHING WE ALL TOUCHED WE ALL HAVE WHATEVER YOU COULD HAVE RECEIVED FROM NAGISA OR THAT GIRL

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
GO TO THE MEDICAL ROVER IMMEDIATELY

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING FROM ASUKA THAT HAPPENED OVER A YEAR AGO OR FROM KAWORU-KUN IT'S PROBABLY IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE KAWORU-KUN IS AN ANGEL HE NEVER GETS SICK I DON'T EVEN THINK HE CAN

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
YOU DONT KNOW YOU HAVEN'T

[NEVERMIND, HE CAN'T BRING HIMSELF TO SAY IF SHINJI HAS SEEN KAWORU'S PRIVATES.]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
NEVERMIND JUST FORGET EVERYTHING I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT

[forevalone]

_{[Spoiler, he has. They've bathed together Ciel. God.]}

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

If it's as severe a disease as you say it is and I had it, I'd be dead already.

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
Not necessarily.

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
At the very least you shouldn't have such loose morals with just anyone. There's a time and place for everything.

[DO YOU EVEN COURT BRO]

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

I don't have loose morals...

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
You kissed a girl and a boy. It's uncouth.

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
You shouldn't even be in the same room or carriage with a girl alone. There's certain rules you have to follow, otherwise, people think you're a hedonist!

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

I can't help it if I was alone with Asuka sometimes, we lived together.

[alittlemaster]

[There is currently a positive correlation between response gap in time and loss of respect for Shinji.]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
YOU LIVED WITH HER??? You don't just live with girls to which you're not married!!

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

It wasn't my choice it was Misato-san's! _{[Another woman - shocker.]} I didn't want to live with her, she was terrible to live with!

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

All she ever did was make fun of me and make me make her lunches and Misato-san was a slob! All she ever did at home was boss me around and drink and make me cook dinner and do all the chores.

[alittlemaster]

[YOU ARE SUCH A SLUT, SHINJI. LIVING WITH TWO WOMEN AND ALSO LIKING MEN. HOW SCANDALOUS.]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
You lived with two unmarried women not related to you?!

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

Yes? It's not that big of a deal, you know. It's not like it was my choice. I didn't have anywhere else to live.

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
It's not appropriate for men to live in the same house as unmarried women to which they aren't related. It will cause people to gossip.

[Nevermind that neither he nor Shinji are technically "men."]