INBOX - NHD-C12-KRI-248 - IKARI, SHINJI

[forevalone]

ikari.shinji@cdc.org
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Comments

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
Don't you have some kind of relation you could have roomed with?

[He would ask aren't there some male friends Shinji can stay with, but then thinks better of it......... He thinks the boy would be molesting them fervently if so.]

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

My mother is dead and my father hates my very existence. I was forced to move to a new city by myself. I would have lived by myself if Misato-san hadn't insisted to be my guardian.

[alittlemaster]

[Modern women are so scary, he thinks.... All confident, and independent, and assertive.

It reminds him of Lizzie's mother....]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
Do you want to go back? If you could.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

Where? To Earth?

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
Back home.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

No. There's nothing and no one there for me anymore.

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

Even if I did go back, I couldn't in good conscience.

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
Are you willing to pay that price, Ikari?

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
If you stay here, you'll become a monster.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

If I go home, I'll trigger an apocalypse.

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

If I have to destroy a planet, I rather it not be the one I was forced to fight to protect.

[alittlemaster]

[Then you're already a monster, God dammit, he wants to point out. But Shinji got so upset earlier, and Ciel doesn't want to deal with him being a hypocrite again.

He has enough of his own hypocrisy to deal with.]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
Don't forget. When you're pulling the trigger, [He doesn't mean literally.] don't forget what you just told me.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

I couldn't forget even if I tried.

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
I don't think Nagisa would be okay if you forgot.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

You don't have to tell me that.

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
What do you want more than anything in the world?

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

To not have to be alone ever again.

[alittlemaster]

[Then don't regret killing people. He erases it.]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
Then don't spread your French gout and kill everyone.

[Teasing obviously. (He may be a little worried still, shh.)]

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

I don't have French gout stop saying that.

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
We'll see.

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
If you keep living.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

I'm not going to die.

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
Then prove it to me.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

How? By not dying?

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
By making not dying a priority over letting someone else live.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

I never said I was suicidal.

[alittlemaster]

FROM: phantomhive.ciel@cdc.org
It was implied. If you want to live while working for the CDC, you will ultimately become a monster.