Shinji "Shy Bi & Ready 2 Cry" Ikari [ 碇 シンジ ] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forevalone) wrote2014-05-06 12:20 am
forevalone) wrote2014-05-06 12:20 am
Entry tags:
INBOX - NHD-C12-KRI-248 - IKARI, SHINJI
ikari.shinji@cdc.org
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Nice to have more things from home?
[ He finds it a little creepy how personal some of the items are (and where they might have been retrieved from). Another reminder of the powers they're up against.
Still, he's not going to be complaining. ]
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I guess so.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
I had forgotten what my mother's face looked like, so it's nice to have a photograph of her.
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I'm sorry. I remember my mother, but I never met my father.
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It's okay. I'm sorry you never met him.
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Thanks. I think I turned out okay.
[ A delay between messages: ]
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
How're you getting along with your cell?
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Well enough. I knew most of them already.
[Which had been a blessing.]
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
Actually...I was wondering if I could ask for some advice?
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Sure. What's up?
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When Armada promoted me to Cell Point I asked him how I can better myself to help others. He told me to:
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
"Learn to fight something much larger than yourself. Learn how to use your size."
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
"Learn to out maneuver your enemy with yourself and your cell."
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
And to "Use your Juggernaut to your advantage."
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
But...I don't know where to start. With any of it.
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You maybe could start by getting everyone together, see what their strengths and weaknesses are. How you each can complement each other in the field.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
You all have the same Juggernaut type, have you been using it much?
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That would be a good idea. We could all get to know each other a bit better too that way.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
Ah...I haven't really. Not that much.
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Not a bad place to start either. You could try asking Mikasa or Tony.
[ Both had expressed interest in teaching last time. ]
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...Would Stark-san get mad if I screw up?
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No. He's actually pretty good with this sort of thing.
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I'll ask him then.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
...Rogers-san how do people become brave?
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FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
I don't think there's any one good answer to that.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
I could tell you what it was like for me when I was younger.
[ When he was smaller. ]
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I'd like that.
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Most people here don't know this about me, but I considered small and unhealthy when I was a kid. Had asthma and a bunch of other medical problems growing up.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
My mother was the bravest person I knew. She was a nurse, working with tuberculosis patients. Back then we didn't completely understand how it was spread.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
You could be fine for years working there and then one day end up a patient. She worked at that ward, no complaints, taking care of people until she got too sick to anymore.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
Jobs were hard to find back then, but she still could've picked anywhere else to work.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
Once I must've asked her why she didn't. She just told me someone had to take care of those people. Was simple as that for her sometimes.
[ Not quite about himself, but it's even more rare for him to talk about her. This seemed to make sense. ]
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FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
She sounds like an amazing lady, Rogers-san. She must have been incredibly kind.
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She was.
[ Some parents, he would realize later, wouldn't have always been so kind about having to raise a kid like him. ]
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
I guess I learned to be brave from her. Like I said, I was small. Got picked on a lot because of it. I wasn't very fast either, learned that I couldn't outrun them, so I stood my ground.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
I guess doing that for myself enough times made it easier to stand up on my own, when I knew things weren't right and someone had to do something.
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Smaller than me?
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
I wish I had known what my mother was like. I at least have a picture of her now.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
If there's one thing I've always been good at it's running.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
Every time I try to be brave it backfires in my face.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
...I want to be brave like you, Rogers-san.
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Probably about the same as you at your age. Didn't make it much past 5'4" even when I hit my growth spurt.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
Sometimes we get in our own way, can't see things clearly because we've only learned to see them one way all of our lives.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
You are brave, Shinji. You just need to learn to be less hard on yourself.
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It's hard not to be...
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
I don't like myself very much.
shinji..... :(
Sounds like that's where you really need to start then.
[ Learning to like yourself. ]
;_;
I don't know how.
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FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
Some people spend their whole lives not able to figure it out. You're still young, but I think that makes it harder.
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