Shinji "Shy Bi & Ready 2 Cry" Ikari [ 碇 シンジ ] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forevalone) wrote2014-05-06 12:20 am
forevalone) wrote2014-05-06 12:20 am
Entry tags:
INBOX - NHD-C12-KRI-248 - IKARI, SHINJI
ikari.shinji@cdc.org
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I'll ask him then.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
...Rogers-san how do people become brave?
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FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
I don't think there's any one good answer to that.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
I could tell you what it was like for me when I was younger.
[ When he was smaller. ]
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I'd like that.
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Most people here don't know this about me, but I considered small and unhealthy when I was a kid. Had asthma and a bunch of other medical problems growing up.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
My mother was the bravest person I knew. She was a nurse, working with tuberculosis patients. Back then we didn't completely understand how it was spread.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
You could be fine for years working there and then one day end up a patient. She worked at that ward, no complaints, taking care of people until she got too sick to anymore.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
Jobs were hard to find back then, but she still could've picked anywhere else to work.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
Once I must've asked her why she didn't. She just told me someone had to take care of those people. Was simple as that for her sometimes.
[ Not quite about himself, but it's even more rare for him to talk about her. This seemed to make sense. ]
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FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
She sounds like an amazing lady, Rogers-san. She must have been incredibly kind.
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She was.
[ Some parents, he would realize later, wouldn't have always been so kind about having to raise a kid like him. ]
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
I guess I learned to be brave from her. Like I said, I was small. Got picked on a lot because of it. I wasn't very fast either, learned that I couldn't outrun them, so I stood my ground.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
I guess doing that for myself enough times made it easier to stand up on my own, when I knew things weren't right and someone had to do something.
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Smaller than me?
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
I wish I had known what my mother was like. I at least have a picture of her now.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
If there's one thing I've always been good at it's running.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
Every time I try to be brave it backfires in my face.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
...I want to be brave like you, Rogers-san.
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Probably about the same as you at your age. Didn't make it much past 5'4" even when I hit my growth spurt.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
Sometimes we get in our own way, can't see things clearly because we've only learned to see them one way all of our lives.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
You are brave, Shinji. You just need to learn to be less hard on yourself.
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It's hard not to be...
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
I don't like myself very much.
shinji..... :(
Sounds like that's where you really need to start then.
[ Learning to like yourself. ]
;_;
I don't know how.
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FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
Some people spend their whole lives not able to figure it out. You're still young, but I think that makes it harder.
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It's really hard, Rogers-san.
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But you're still trying.
[ That counts for something. ]
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I have to if I want to be good enough.
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You're already good enough. You've just got to learn to believe it.
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...Thank you, Rogers-san. I'll do my best to.