INBOX - NHD-C12-KRI-248 - IKARI, SHINJI

[forevalone]

ikari.shinji@cdc.org
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Comments

[2leftfeet]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Do you think anyone wants that?

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

Monsters do.

_{[Not the literal ones, of course, or your bump in the night variety, but the ones who disguise themselves as people, who were born human but have no shred of humanity left inside them to care.]}

[2leftfeet]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Then don't be one of those.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

It's not that simple.

[2leftfeet]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org

You're not a monster as long as you stay angry when people die.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

Anger never solves anything, even if it's unavoidable.

_{[Shinji's learned that the hard way.]}

[2leftfeet]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Then stay upset. Whatever you want to call it but as long as you're feeling something, that keeps you accountable.

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Monsters don't think they're accountable for anything.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

...What was the scariest monster you've ever met?

[2leftfeet]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
A man who thinks he can control bigger ones.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

Was he able to?

[2leftfeet]

[She doesn't know, not technically. But she doesn't need to know what happens in the future of her galaxy to give him an answer.]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
No.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

...I know a monster like that too. Only he doesn't just think it, he can.

[2leftfeet]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
What's your point?

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

How do you stop a monster like that? How do you stop from being controlled by a monster like that?

[2leftfeet]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Is this "monster" here?

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

No.

[2leftfeet]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Then if it were me?

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
I'd worry about the answer to that question when it seemed like it might be a problem.

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
You're going to have plenty of other issues, Ikari. Don't torture yourself over hypotheticals.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

I'm sorry.

[2leftfeet]

[Jesus Christ, this kid.]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
For what?

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

Because I worry a lot. I know it's frustrating for others to deal with me.

[2leftfeet]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Worrying means you're smart enough to recognize different possibilities. That's a good skill to have in the field, you just have to figure out how to focus that energy.

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

...Really?

[2leftfeet]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Why would I say something I didn't mean

[forevalone]

FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org

Ah...I didn't mean it like that. It's more that no one's ever really said something like that to me.

_{[Y'know, like being a nervous wreck isn't always a bad thing???]}

[2leftfeet]

[It takes her a long second to think of something to say other than 'Your version of Earth is stupid'.]

FROM: shepard.lydia@cdc.org
Then I'm glad someone finally did.