[Don't look at me like that he wants to say when Kaworu breaks the contact of their lips. It had been a one sided kiss, Kaworu had just let it happen, as brief as it had lasted. His voice is careful, cautious and low, like one would speak to a wild deer, but Kaworu looks like he's the one caught in headlights and Shinji wants to scream. Teeth dig into his lower lip as he turns his gaze away. He's frustrated. Why the hell couldn't Kaworu just go along with it? Why couldn't he just kiss him back and let him forget for a few minutes that there was anything that existed outside of the two of their bodies.
Part of him wants to smash his head against the nearest tree while another part of him wants to push Kaworu against one instead. He doesn't want to talk about his feelings. He's feeling too much, a poisoned hotpot of jumbled emotions, fears and insecurities. He needs a release of some sort, whether it be screaming, crying or kissing the boy before him. Why does everything have to be so complicated? He might as well throw up his heart.]
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Part of him wants to smash his head against the nearest tree while another part of him wants to push Kaworu against one instead. He doesn't want to talk about his feelings. He's feeling too much, a poisoned hotpot of jumbled emotions, fears and insecurities. He needs a release of some sort, whether it be screaming, crying or kissing the boy before him. Why does everything have to be so complicated? He might as well throw up his heart.]
What?