APPLICATION FOR CDC

[forevalone]

CHARACTER INFO.
✖ Character Name: Ikari, Shinji.
✖ Canon: Neon Genesis Evangelion (Anime). Canon point is the end of episode 24.
✖ Character Appearance: Hello 90's fashion.
✖ Character Age: 14.
✖ Pick A Number: 003, 013.

✖ Canon Setting:

Shinji Ikari comes from Earth, very much like our own. The only difference is is that the world he's been born into has undergone an apocalyptic event dubbed "Second Impact" by officials. Second Impact was a global catastrophic event which occurred on September 13th, 2000. It was triggered by a massive explosion which took place in Antarctica, melting the polar ice cap and altering the Earth's axis. As a result the Earth was bombarded with massive tsunamis, a rise in sea levels and ultimately flooding. Global warming more or less settled in and there are no longer any seasons - all that's left are erratic weather patterns and an eternal summer.

The current series when we're introduced to Shinji is in 2015 - fifteen years later after Second Impact. The level of technology is a mix of what you'd have commonly seen in the 90's (large cellphones, corded phones, bulky equipment etc) but also there's the technology in place to create Evangelions - giant, semi-organic mechas that children pilot. The reason Evas have been created in the first place is to have a line of defense and means to fight off Angels - horrible, alien abominations that have begun to attack the Earth. They're no walk in the park either - they're fucking terrifying. They also must be defeated, lest they end up triggering a third apocalypse - Third Impact - which is kind of their goal.

Shinji himself moves to live in Tokyo-3 when he's 14. Tokyo-3 is a fortified city that can retreat underground, quite literally. It was originally built and proposed to be the new capitol of Japan after Second Impact destroyed a bunch of infrastructure, but it ends up being more or less the first line of defense and where everything goes down when Angels attack.

✖ Character History: [Here!] & [Here!]

✖ Character Personality:

If there is one thing one should know about Shinji Ikari it's that he's never wanted to play the part of a hero. He's not very strong physically and is rather plain to look at. He's a small boy who hasn't even hit five feet in height yet and has the experience of fourteen lonely years of life behind him. Aside from not looking the part he's forced to try and play, he can't for the life of him act it either, but that's no fault of his own. When your mom inserts herself into a giant organic robot and essentially 'dies' as a result and your dad subsequently ends up abandoning you and becomes not only distant but the poster asshole dad of the 90s for bad parenting due to making a bunch of clones of his dead wife, using his son as a pawn and trying to get him to bring about the third apocalypse, it's hard to act like your typical shounen hero out to save the world. Shinji Ikari has pretty much nothing going for him and that's not an exaggeration. His life quite literally sucks and like a realistic, fourteen year old boy, he acts accordingly.

He acts scared. He acts depressed. He acts, above all else, lonely.

What most people seem to forget, especially those who Shinji unfortunately either lives with or interacts with on a day to day basis is that he is ultimately a child. He's a plain boy from a broken family with no one who loves him or has really cared about him for the majority of his life. He hasn't really had any friends (at least until he came to Tokyo-3 and subsequently transferred schools) or really people he could trust to open up to and when fate does allow him to share his feelings with another, luck would have it that he has to kill them not long after. Not to mention the unrealistic and ridiculous expectations placed upon his small shoulders, the world really has had it out for Shinji since he was three and this fact is reinforced throughout the series in a series of unfortunate events.

Having suffered the trauma of his mother's death and being pawned off onto his sensei at the age of three by dad of the year Gendo Ikari, Shinji grew up to the tender age of fourteen leading a relatively quiet, uneventful life. He went to school, kept to himself, made decent grades and practiced cello dutifully. He was a good kid and did what he was told without much fuss or protest. It wasn't so much Shinji didn't have a spine but rather he didn't care much about anything to create much fuss. He did what was expected of him and went on living. It wasn't an exactly fulfilling life but it was more than simply just existing. His quiet stagnant life however comes to a crashing halt when he receives a letter from his father telling him to come and see him, without any explanation or reasoning behind the order. And so, Shinji complies with his father's order, only to end up deep underground in a research facility standing in front of a giant robotic life form and told ever so lovingly by his father, without so much as a hello, to get in the Eva Unit or to go home. Thus Shinji's new terrifying and brutal life of being an Eva pilot begins, causing him to experience psychological trauma and suffering that would give both Freud and Jung a field day.

Shinji is ultimately a kid who hates himself. He dislikes himself to the point he can't even bother with killing himself and simply chooses to live and exist in self loathing. He sees himself as unloved and unlovable (which has been a belief reinforced by people's attitude toward him throughout his life) and yet despite his general opinion on humanity as a whole he yearns for love and approval. He craves attention and recognition while at the same time keeps himself detached from people for fear of being hurt even further. Starved for praise from his father, this desire for a "Good Job Shinji" is what continues to push him and motivate him to pilot Eva Unit 01 after the traumatizing experience of his first ordeal inside the entry plug. Unlike Asuka who identifies herself solely by being an Evangelion pilot and nothing else, Shinji struggles with a means of self identification outside of piloting the Evangelions. Is he a coward for not wanting to pilot the creepy living robot and fight horrifying Eldritch Abominations called Angels whenever they decide to attack Tokyo-3? He certainly thinks so, chanting the mantra "I mustn't run away" almost religiously. Is he weak and selfish for not wanting to risk his life or wanting to escape from the harsh reality around him? The adults in his life make him think so, but then again they also are in need of a good dose of therapy themselves.

There's no such thing as a healthy living situation for Shinji Ikari the moment he entered NERV headquarters; even outside of headquarters his living situation isn't much better. Misato, a grown woman with a terrible drinking habit and lifestyle of living off instant meals, TV dinners and surrounding herself in her own trash and mess is what Shinji tries to make the best of. She becomes his guardian during his time as an Eva pilot and while she does have good intentions at heart, she's also a basket case of issues herself. He disapproves of her mess and her drinking and ends up, in a sense, taking care of her to a degree by cleaning and cooking for the both of them while he lives with her. She does care about him but sometimes that message isn't relayed as well as it could be and sometimes words that are meant to encourage leave Shinji feeling worse off about himself than he was before she opened her mouth. Although Misato does her best to try and make Shinji feel comfortable and not alone, trying to not only be his friend but a makeshift mother figure, Shinji still is unable to truly open up to her. She's still an adult to him, even if she doesn't act it sometimes, and that distinction keeps him from connecting fully with her. That isn't to say that Shinji doesn't care about Misato - he certainly does - but he will never see himself and her as equal human beings, despite the praise or stern, well intentioned but poorly worded criticisms she tries to deliver to him on occasion. He's also intimidated by her flaunted sexuality which she does, from time to time, half-jokingly or ambiguously use toward him, not only frightening him but taking advantage of his vulnerability. While Shinji's two friends are more than happy to gawk and fantasize about Misato, Shinji is either afraid of her sexuality and doesn't know how to respond or incredibly unsure how to feel about an adult offering adult things. She doesn't, if anything, help his fear and insecurities toward the opposite sex.

Speaking of being intimidated by girls, there is no other female in Shinji's life that is more intimidating, abrasive and utterly frustrating to him than Asuka. She's the foil to his personality - outgoing, loud, extroverted and craving the spotlight. She bosses him around and bullies him and Shinji usually lets her take the lead that she craves so terribly. It's faced up against Asuka however that Shinji does show he has a backbone. When she yells sometimes he'll yell right back. They bicker often, especially once Asuka moves into Misato's flat with him, and their relationship is very much like two rival siblings. It's hard for them to get along, especially with Asuka constantly insulting Shinji, but he soon grows used to it and learns how to live with her. Asuka is a constant source of confusion to Shinji. He's attracted to her, to a degree, but her pretty face is outweighed by her snarky, harsh attitude. It doesn't help that she goads him into sharing his first kiss with her and nearly suffocates him in the process by holding his nose closed. Despite this, Shinji does care about her, even though he's utterly unsure how to feel about her otherwise. She's a Chosen Child, just like he is, and although they differ vastly in personality and opinions, they still have to do the same job and fight the same horrifying creatures and work together. She's not a friend but she is someone of importance and ultimately leads Shinji to pity her when she falls into increasing despair over the course of the series as Shinji improves both in confidence and skill and she herself stays the same and faces her downfall.

Rei Ayanami is the last member of the trio of pilots and another girl in Shinji's life who he isn't sure what to make of. Not only is she a clone of his mother and a vessel for Lilith's soul, Rei is distant, cold and quiet - the extreme opposite of Asuka - and when Shinji does try to speak to her and befriend her early on in the series, she shows him little care at all. (Which isn't surprising, Rei cares about almost nothing.) Still, it was initially her damaged state that forced Shinji to pilot Eva Unit 01, lest she do so and die as a result. It'd be wrong of him to say that he wasn't initially a bit jealous of her relationship with his father (he made her smile and she made him smile in return) but he does come to see her as someone important and someone he cares about. Her disregard for her own life and existence is a bit terrifying sometimes to Shinji and he sees her as someone who needs protecting. She also over the course of the series helps fuel a dormant hope within Shinji that individuals are capable of connecting with one another and on one occasion he can't help but remark to himself that her hands remind him of a mother's. Any confusion or feelings Shinji might've harbored toward Rei are exponentially complicated when he witnesses his father's Reiquarium full of floating clones of Rei and finally makes the connection between her and his mother and what his father has actually done.

When Gendo Ikari isn't off cloning his dead wife or engineering giant living robots and shoving children inside them, he's making his only son's life a living hell. Naturally, Shinji hates his father and feels betrayed by him and unloved by him. The main source of his problems at the start of the series stem from the fact he's been ignored by his dad quite literally for the majority of his life and only called upon when needed. What's being asked of him is ridiculous as are the responsibilities placed upon him and yet instead of explaining the situation to Shinji or giving him words of encouragement he tells him on multiple occasions to either get into the Eva or to go home. Shinji's insecurities are not only created but fueled by his father's negligence and uncaring attitude toward his own flesh and blood and yet Shinji can't stop hoping and craving the approval of his father. He does, even at one point, get that approval, as curt and short as it may be, but even then the good feeling that stems from it wears off. His hatred for his father reaches the tipping point when Shinji is forced to attack and destroy the Fourth Child, his friend Toji, who is trapped inside an Angel infected Eva against his own will. Quite literally his father takes over control of the Eva via the Dummy Plug system and, while Shinji can witness everything and do little to stop it, decimates the other Evangelion. While Shinji only finds out afterward that Toji was the child inside the Eva and his friend does in fact live from the ordeal, it's not the kind of father son bonding activity any child wants to partake in. No longer does Shinji want his father's approval, or at the very least does that continue to be his reason to pilot the Eva. After that traumatic ordeal and swearing to never pilot again, circumstance forces him back in the entry plug of Eva Unit 01, but this time he does it not for his father but for himself after seeing Rei and Asuka in danger.

While Shinji can be a bit socially awkward in the sense that he's naturally shy, that doesn't mean he's incapable of making friends. After making amends with two of his classmates Toji and Kensuke, the two boys end up befriending Shinji, hanging out with him and including him in usual teenage boy discussions such as about which girl looks hotter in their gym outfits or which one has the better rack. While Shinji can't really open up to either of them he still enjoys their company and is devastated when he finds out that Toji was the Fourth Child. His friendship with the two boys allows him to come out of his shell and act like a normal child his age, even if it's only for brief moments. Having been rescued by Shinji by getting into his entry plug only to witness him breakdown after killing the Angel attacking, his two friends act as a source of moral support throughout in certain instances, reminding Shinji that he's not alone and others do care about him.

The only problem is that when Asuka is put out of commission, Rei is revealed to be a clone of his mom, and all of Shinji's friends have left Tokyo-3 because it has become far too dangerous to live in, Shinji is left quite literally alone and to his own devices. It is when he's at this very low point that Kaworu Nagisa, unbeknownst to him the final Angel, enters his life and exits it just as quickly. Right from the get go Shinji is immediately entranced by Kaworu. He's attracted to the boy's looks, blushes at his warm, inviting tone and quickly finds himself falling for the Angel's kindness toward him. To Shinji Kaworu quickly becomes the embodiment of unconditional love - something Shinji has craved his entire life - and it doesn't take long for Shinji to open up to him. He tells and admits things to Kaworu he's never admitted or talked about to anyone before, allows Kaworu to touch him and doesn't shy away from the contact and even sleeps in the same room as the boy, even though he's only known him for a short while. Kaworu's presence is calming to Shinji and it doesn't take long for Shinji to trust him, which makes Kaworu's fate all the more devastating to Shinji in the end. Kaworu is the only person who tells Shinji he loves him - the first time Shinji has ever heard those words toward himself and they're from the lips of an Angel. When Shinji finds out Kaworu is an Angel and has to stop him from causing Third Impact, Shinji is not only betrayed but utterly heartbroken. Even whilst fighting with Kaworu he begs for an explanation and for them to both stop fighting, that there must be another way and they don't need to fight. There is no happy ending of course to this - Kaworu is an Angel and thus must be killed lest Humanity die in his place. The boy even says as much himself, asking Shinji to kill him and let humanity continue existing. Despite the strong desire to not go through with it, Shinji eventually crushes Kaworu in the hand of the Eva Unit 01, essentially killing the only individual who told him they loved him by his own hands. After the ordeal Shinji sits and talks with Misato, telling her that he should've been the one to die instead of Kaworu and that he loved the boy too in return. It's from this point on that Shinji begins to spiral down even further into depression and helplessness.

If there's one thing Shinji wants more than anything, it's to be loved and to be able to connect fully with another individual. He was given a brief taste of this from Kaworu, only for it to be ended by his own doing. It's a desire that is so overpowering that when the next apocalypse, Third Impact is triggered every living creature's AT field is dissolved, turning everyone into orange tang LCL, causing humanity to merge as one giant living organism soup covering the planet. Of course, as soup, no one is really able to be an individual and this individuality is something that Shinji comes to realize he also wants, even if it means feeling loneliness and heartache.

Essentially Shinji Ikari is a boy of contradictions and insecurities. He hates fighting for the sake of fighting and hates seeing others suffer or being the cause of that suffering. He yearns to be loved and recognized and yet he's afraid of becoming close to others for fear of further rejection and heartache. He lives in his head a lot, using music as an escape mechanism, and can be rather quiet and shy. He has an amazing ability to endure all the crazy stuff life throws at him but he still suffers from the mental trauma of it all. He's a young teenage boy who is growing up and still doesn't know his place in the world or if there really is a place for him at all in it. Sexual matters and the like are still rather foreign to him, but he's at that awkward stage in life where puberty makes things even more needlessly complicated. He's flawed but friendly enough when people reach out to him and perhaps with a little more self confidence, would be able to stand up for himself better.

As it stands however, at the end of episode 24 (the canon point he'll be taken from), Kaworu's death having taken place, Shinji is a heartbroken mess, trying to understand and cope with the trauma of killing him himself. He isn't beyond functionality or speaking to others but he is a bit more withdrawn and emotionally compromised. Maybe if NERV employed therapists he'd be a little better off.

✖ Character Powers:

Unless you count having the skill of being able to pilot giant robot organisms like a natural and scream blood curling screams when things go horribly wrong, Shinji himself is a normal human fourteen year old Japanese boy. He's rather skilled at playing the cello, however, but is average in about everything else. Nothing truly special here with regards to abilities, aside from his unfortunate circumstances.

One thing however that is of note and can probably be somewhat implied is that due to the Eva pilots feeling whatever pain/damage is inflicted on the Eva Units they pilot, it wouldn't be surprising that Shinji has built up a decent tolerance to physical pain. There are also the countless times he winds up waking up in a hospital bed only to be dragged out of it to get back inside his mom Eva Unit to go fight the next Angelic threat to mankind.

Another thing to take into consideration is that in the Rebuild series there is mention that due to being submerged in LCL, Eva pilots are exposed to the unfortunate side effect of not being able to physically age, thus rendering them stuck at the physical age they began to pilot at. Whether or not this is applicable to the original series or not, due to the Rebuild series being considered a canon AU of sorts, it is still something to keep in mind.

While there isn't anything particularly special about Shinji and physically he's like any other boy his age, (save for the potential possibility he might never grow up physically) his ability to endure the unthinkable and utterly bizarre is commendable.

CHARACTER SAMPLES.
✖ First Person POV: [Here]

✖ Third Person POV:

"It isn't safe for Earth if you stay here any longer. Your indecisiveness toward killing the 17th Angel shows your instability and wavering loyalty to Humanity. If you remain here on Earth, Shinji Ikari, you are going to end up being the inevitable cause of Third Impact."

There's nothing quite like being told you're going to be the cause of the next apocalypse when you've only just recently crushed the only person who's ever told you 'I love you' in an attempt to stop just that from happening. It was smart timing on the CDC's part to try and enlist him when he was feeling so vulnerable, and the agent knew just where to pick and prod to make Shinji give in. There was protesting at first, of course, how could he be the future cause of Third Impact? But the more the agent spoke to him, the more it became clear that if he stayed here on Earth, it would be destroyed - either by him or by the CDC.

"If you join however, you'll ensure the safety of your planet. The CDC destroys world, you know. That's our job. If you don't destroy Earth then we will. You've the right qualifications and besides, you'd be a hero. Who doesn't want that?"

He doesn't want that, thank you very much. He doesn't want to be a hero. He never did, nor was he cut out for it. He never wanted to pilot the Eva. He never wanted to fight Angels. He never wanted any of this.

There's a contract laid out on a table he's supposed to sign, as he stands before the agent. He's read through it at least three times so far; he knows what he's getting himself into. Still, if he does this then everyone would be okay. Everyone would be safe. Misato, Asuka, Toji and Kensuke...even Rei. Asuka had always been on his case about being selfish. Wasn't this something entirely selfless that he could do? It wasn't running away from his father or NERV or SELEE. It was doing the right thing.

He shoots the agent an uncertain look before picking up the pen to sign the contract - 碇 シンジ - and sets it back down atop the paper. He gets a smile in return as the contract is picked up and filed safely away in a briefcase, along with the pen.

"Good on you, Shinji Ikari. You've made the right choice for planet Earth. Welcome to the CDC."

Would he regret it? Knowing his luck, he would.

CHARACTER ITEMS.
✖ Pick a Team: Green.

✖ Mission Freebie: That CDC will ensure Third Impact won't happen to planet Earth. Big request, I know. Aside from that he really doesn't want anything.
✖ Personal Item or Weapon: His SDAT player (a type of cassette player) with the headphones wrapped around it.

✖ Character Inventory:

All that Shinji will have on his person when he arrives is his identification card, his SDAT player (a type of cassette player) and headphones, and the plain clothes on his back.