INBOX - NHD-C12-KRI-248 - IKARI, SHINJI

[forevalone]

ikari.shinji@cdc.org
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Comments

[paraclete]

[Even when man seeks to be alone, he fears it. Kaworu is certain that nobody wants to be truly alone — to be, perhaps, alone on one's own terms, but not without a soul to turn to. To relate to...

And Kaworu can relate. He felt alone during the emptiest part of his life, and he never wants to return to those times. Only when his role of repetition become clear to him did he realize that, through everything... No matter how many years in between... He'd always be coming back to Ikari Shinji. He'd always have that. He tells himself, too, that it's all he'll ever need. Just Shinji-kun. Just...]

Shinji-kun, [he says once more, and then this time, their mouths don't reconnect. Still, Kaworu's lips stay hovering close, and his eyes travel the close span of Shinji's face.] Does it feel good?

[He's so gentle, and so concerned, because there are things to fear other than loneliness.]

[forevalone]

_{[He's a terrible person. He's disgusting. A coward. Pathetic. He couldn't even save just one person. A person he cared about at that. Now here he was, throwing himself at his best friend, the person he loved most of all and yet knew very little about relatively. Does it feel good? It does, but he feels guilty. This is something he's wanted so badly but this isn't how he had wanted it to play out. He's just too beside himself to care. It's not a direct answer to Kaworu's question, but it's what he gives him.]}

I love you.

_{[Kaworu is gentle and concerned, everything Shinji wants and needs but he's not perfect. Shinji's been dimly aware of this but he pushes it aside when it doesn't suit him. Like right now. All that matters right now is that Kaworu is someone he can cling to. Someone he can squeeze comfort out of.]}