[At the end of the day it's a distraction that Shinji needs above all else. Yes, he wants Kaworu, in ways that make sense to a confused, puberty riddled teen, but he also seeks comfort and craves it. This contact is desperate, the kiss far deeper than any they've shared before. He doesn't realize his hands are clinging now, to the fabric at Kaworu's shoulders as he parts his lips to get closer. It's not like he really knows what he's doing when it comes to kissing - his actions are born out of a reaction to the attention he's receiving. Not that that stops him from trying. Nothing barring Kaworu himself could stop him right now.
You're going to be all right - but was he? He didn't feel all right. He felt messed up, topsy turvy, like he did when Toji had nearly died thanks to him. Back then it hadn't been his fault his friend had come to harm and that he was powerless to stop it. With Ellie it had been different, sure, but he was still powerless then too. He doesn't want to feel that way anymore.
Even here, right now, he feels powerless. Kaworu had left him, not by choice of course, but he'd still left. There's fear driving his actions, a desperate desire to control and cling to what's important, what validates him. It's what drove him into this kiss in the first place. Kaworu's mouth is hot, even if his fingers are cool. The kiss may leave him breathless when it's over, but for the first time in days it feels as if he's had life breathed into him.]
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You're going to be all right - but was he? He didn't feel all right. He felt messed up, topsy turvy, like he did when Toji had nearly died thanks to him. Back then it hadn't been his fault his friend had come to harm and that he was powerless to stop it. With Ellie it had been different, sure, but he was still powerless then too. He doesn't want to feel that way anymore.
Even here, right now, he feels powerless. Kaworu had left him, not by choice of course, but he'd still left. There's fear driving his actions, a desperate desire to control and cling to what's important, what validates him. It's what drove him into this kiss in the first place. Kaworu's mouth is hot, even if his fingers are cool. The kiss may leave him breathless when it's over, but for the first time in days it feels as if he's had life breathed into him.]